Quote

PARENTING PORN

“Carlin, what is the origin of porn?

Porn has always been with us. The earliest nude drawings were discovered in the Chauvet cave complex dating back to the Paleolithic period. They discovered engraved images of female reclining nudes and vulvas created by man in 10,000 B.C.

Video-based porn started in the 1920s, with short films called “smokers” that depicted both heterosexual and homosexual sex acts.” Excerpt from article on Huffington Post :Do Women Really Hate Porn? An Interview with Carlin Ross- February 2016.

 

So my sons and I have had this discussion several times and they have been asking me when I’ll be posting this article.I’ve put off this task for a while thinking that in my community these things are not generally discussed in a public forum but then I asked myself why the hell not??

There are so many questions that we all have on this topic but are too scared to ask them for fear of being judged.

I wish we could all learn to have important conversations with our children and ourselves for that matter. Conversations about keeping Pornography in the home for example.

Ok, you can all start breathing again. I won’t post any porn pictures on this site. I would really just like to start a frank discussion with parents out there. We know that many boys and equally so girls, in their teens watch pornography. With advances in technology, our kids are able to access this so much easier and maybe this explains why my sons have password locks on their phones but aren’t concerned about me rummaging through their wardrobes.:)

We all know that this happens. Maybe some parents believe that their kids have never watched or seen pornography in any form, and yes there are many who haven’t, but there are oh, so many, who have. Is watching pornography worse than watching violent or horror movies?

What do you do when you’re scanning through the family laptop one day in desperate need of a copy of that CV that you saved in 1920 something and discover a folder which looks like it holds the said CV but instead find something that looks more like Godzilla. Someone’s vagina is staring straight at you and you die instantly and close the file. Sitting dazed for a few minutes. Totally in shock as to how this non Van Gogh artwork has found a place on your laptop. So slowly your hand moves over to the mouse again and you click on the same “Godzilla” folder hoping to find the Tooth Fairy Files , but there it is again…GODZILLA!! I’m sure many of you have had this experience. Some may just have felt too awkward to discuss this with their kids and swept it under the rug. I know some of you probably grounded your kids because of something like this and the kids still don’t know why they’ve been grounded.

So, who has this discussion with the kids? Mom, Dad or both? What about single parents? How do we broach this subject with our teenagers? Do you wait and pray a lot that you never find the stuff on their laptop or are you one of those parents who believe that your child would never do “stuff” like that. Take it from me. They Do, do stuff like that whether  we have put the fear of God into them or not. Kids are curious and they have raging hormones.

Do we feel that because we believe our kids won’t do it, that these discussions should not happen in the home? Growing up, our parents’ approach to sexual content  was extremely conservative.  With time, some have changed but it’s also not easy for parents.

When we asked questions, our parents offered a response. If we asked , “But why?” we were told; “because I said so!” and that was the end of the discussion. Times have changed. If we as parents don’t have these discussions and share our views with our kids, they WILL find the information elsewhere.

I think of my very first discussion with my kids on this topic. I still cringe at the thought. There is no right way to have this discussion. Should we as parents be proactive or reactive about this topic?

Let me have your thoughts. Would you have these discussions with your teenagers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “PARENTING PORN

  1. Wedaad Abrahams says:

    I completely agree we need to keep those lines of communication open. I have an “almost” 14 year old son who regularly chats about the opposite gender with me. Let’s not be naive and believe our kids are going to be children forever… those little minds are inquisitive minds.

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  2. Shamiemah says:

    Interesting topic, sharing with your kids in this day and age is very important with so many things our kids are exposed to. Our kids may not have phones or access to technology, yet they have friends, school mates or even family members kids who have the phones, laptops etc and not to mention unlimited wifi, so as much as we would like to keep our kids in the dark until they 30 it ain’t going to happen. Keeping the lines of communication open as best as one can, and hide the cringing earth opening up swallow you whole face to light hearted and easy chats, so that your kid won’t think it’s wrong discussing or asking you about matters of a sexual nature. If you not going be honest with them they will hear or see it and make their own summary of what it is. The mere thought of some other raging hormonal teen showing my hormonal teen a picture or clip “holy crap” and let’s face it, it could and will ignite sexual feelings whether you like it or not. They may not understand the “feelings” and let’s be real as adults whether you want to admit it or not, it affects adults the same way! So my two cents is that give your kids the knowledge and guidance, so they have the tools to MAYBE be responsible when faced with any decisions of what’s allowed and what’s not…and hope for the best they make decisions on what you’ve instilled them as the parent/s…so put on your ‘big girl’panties and take responsibility of what your kids knows about sexuality because knowledge is power into today’s era where sex is everywhere!

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  3. Sulainan says:

    If you can keep it discreet like I’ve done since the day i was born why not. All I know is there are millions of perverts like myself out there and I guess it will be hard as a parent if I should find out they watch porn. Interesting read I hope I don’t get there soon to catch my kids.

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  4. Sulainan says:

    If you can keep it discreet like I’ve done since the day why not. All I know is there are millions of perverts like myself out there and I guess it will be hard as a parent if I should find out they watch porn. Interesting read I hope I don’t get there soon to catch my kids.

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